Live Mascots

Being as a real elephant is a very far stretch of the imagination for me and my student body, I still can't help but give a little gratitude to the schools that do carry this sort of tradition. No, maybe they don't have 12 National Title banners waving atop their stadium, but they do have a tradition of having loyalty that can only come from having one's own pet. Some are strange, some are mean, and some are nothing short of regal.

Even if it is nearly impossible to have an elephant stomping the sidelines at Bryant-Denny Stadium I must remind you of one thing.... we did once have a 'Bear'.

I've ranked my favorite animal mascots below:

1. Uga VII - The English Bulldog (University of Georgia): His predecessor once took the acclaimed "Oldest Rivalry in the South" to a new level when he bit an Auburn player. "Good boy!" God rest his soul. My appreciation for tradition, class, and Southern football at it's finest is why I rank Uga VII at the top of the list. (Uga VI was not only cool for biting an Auburn player, but was even cooler for being the all-time winningest mascot).

2. Bevo XIV - Texas Longhorn Steer (The University of Texas): His original name was "Sunrise Studly" and attended George W. Bush's second inauguration. Not only loyal to the students in Austin but also loyal to the former leader of the free world makes Bevo XIV a.k.a. Sunrise Studly a much admired mascot. "Hook 'em Horns!"

3. Mike VI - The Siberian-Bengal Tiger (Louisiana State University): An Indiana rescue facility donated Mike VI to LSU in 2007 after his predecessor died. Whether I go to a rival university or not, it is pretty damn cool that his first year on the job he was part of a BCS National Championship. Come to think of it, that might be a selling point on this whole real-life elephant idea in Tuscaloosa.

4. Mach 1 - Falcon (Air Force): The bird can fly up to a speed of 200 mph. If that's not appropriate for the Air Force then get back to me when cheetahs learn how to fly.

5. Rameses XVIII - Horned Dorset Sheep (The University of North Carolina): It's a Ram, they're the Tar Heels. It's like the whole elephant thing when we're the Crimson Tide. Listen, I don't love these two schools because of their mascots or the fact that they confuse most people - it is what it is. Rameses XVIII got the job in Chapel Hill after his father was killed by a vicious headbutt by his very own brother. They paint his horns Carolina blue, and on very special occassions, his testicles have been known to sport a spray-paint job of the same color.

6. Traveler VIII - Andalusian Horse (The University of Southern California): This regal, white horse got it's name 'Traveler' from General Robert E. Lee's famous horse in the Civil War. Despite the hatred for Southern Cal football you can find in the people in my neck of the woods, it is somewhat charming of the West Coasties to remember our beloved Confederate General and his Andalusian Horse.

7. Renegade - Appaloosa Horse (Florida State University): As a tribute to the famous Seminole Tribe of Florida, Renegade and his 'Chief Osceola' made their debut appearance against Oklahoma State in 1978. Although I have never witnessed a football game inside Doak Campbell Stadium I can only imagine the feeling that swoops over their student section as they hum and wave their fists in tomahawk spirit as a flaming spear is planted at midfield by a charging Renegade and Chief Osceola. Even cooler, the recent debates in the United States regarding Native American mascots being 'offensive' to the Native American culture are not applied to FSU - they have consent and total support from the Seminole Indian tribe.

8. Tusk II - Russian Boar (The University of Arkansas): Razorbacks love Tusk II just as much as they love to sing, "Woooo! Pig Sooie!" Tusk I, his predecessor, was shot and killed by an angry farmer when the boar escaped the animal exhibit and rampaged some very precious countryside. It's always been said, they're a little backwards up in Arkansas. (I kid, I kid!)

9. Ralphie IV and Ralphie V - Buffaloes (Colorado University): Both are female and split time on the sideline at the Buff's home football games. In Ralphie IV's first appearance she broke free from her harness and trampled one of her handlers. I am hoping no serious injury was caused because I find it a little humorous.

10. Smokey IX - Bluetick Coonhound (The University of Tennessee): This hound dog got the job in 2004 and is still part of the Volunteer's gameday tradition - even bringing Smokey to away games. In 1955, Smokey II was kidnapped by a group of students from the University of Kentucky. In 2006, Smokey IX was accused of biting Alabama receiver Mike McCoy after the player fell on the then 3-year old coonhound in pre-game warmups. Tennessee denied this being true. The dog is cool and all, but you know whose side I am on.

11. Tom II - Bengal Tiger (The University of Memphis): In remembrance - Tom II was recently put to sleep at the age of 17 after being diagnosed with cancer. His name, derived from the Tigers Of Memphis, is very beloved in the western Tennessee city.

12. Judge Joy and Sue - Black Bears (Baylor University): The first bear on campus was won by a local businessman in a poker game. I thought they played Texas Hold 'Em with money, especially in Texas. With the names 'Judge Joy' and 'Sue' I disregard the nature of the animal and assume that Paul W. Bryant was the more scary 'Bear' on a sideline.

13. War Eagle VII - Golden Eagle (Auburn University): The eagle was born in 1999 at the Montgomery Zoo and at six months of age was moved to Auburn to participate in pre-game festivities. No one really knows why the Auburn Tigers don't have a Tiger like LSU and Memphis, but no one really cares either. Although I have a deep dislike for all things Auburn, I must admit that the soaring eagle is a unique tradition for "those people".

14. Bill XXXIII - Goat (The United States Naval Academy): In 1893 the first 'Bill the Goat' appeared. The live goat is represented at football games by costumed midshipmen. Over the years 'Bill the Goat' has been kidnapped by many different schools. Some of which are: The Air Force Academy, The Army, and Maryland.

15. Raider, Ranger II, and General Scott - Mules (Army): The mules were adopted by Army to counter the infamous Navy goat. At football games the mules are ridden by Army Officers.

So, what do you think of this walking the sidelines of Bryant-Denny Stadium? I don't know, I think we'll just stick to the old, traditional ways that we're used to!

Roll Tide Roll!

-BJJ